When the IRS comes knocking, just point to your shirt. The aliens took it all – every last sat. This tee gives HODLers the perfect cover story that's way more entertaining than another boating accident.

Built for Bitcoiners who appreciate good humor with their hard money. The kind of shirt that sparks conversations at Bitcoin meetups and gets knowing nods from fellow stackers who've heard every excuse in the book.

Makes an ideal gift for that friend who's always joking about their portfolio or the HODLer in your life who needs a good laugh between DCA sessions. Available in sizes S-4XL with free shipping on all U.S. orders.

Sometimes the best defense is a good alien abduction story. At least it's more original than a fishing trip gone wrong.

Grab your gear here, then head to Midwest Bitcoin Summit 2026 (use code FOMO to save on tickets).